Sunday, May 28, 2017

Every day is the first day of the rest of our lives

I've always loved reading Julie Zickefoose's blog (if you don't read it, please do). Her writing, which I am also overjoyed to own in Letters from Eden and The Bluebird Effect, makes me feel so peaceful. Her prose comforts me, and the photos of her beautiful home and family in Ohio give me a sneak peek into a life that is measured by the seasons that it takes for a fawn to grow, and the annual tides of flowers blooming and receding. There is something so calming about the rolling hills she calls home, and something even more heart-warming about the deep love she clearly has for those same hills.

I used to think that in order for me to live that serenity, I would have to leave the city, and create an oasis for myself like the beautiful one that Julie has. But as a student at Berkeley, skipping town obviously wasn't an option. I resigned myself to thinking that as long as I was stuck in the city, I couldn't be happy. Let me tell you though, being unhappy got old really fast. Maybe one day I can have my own gentle hills and and sunset-lit walks with a dog - but until then, I can't run away. I have to stand my ground, and figure out how to be happy today. Here's my game plan: I am going to figure out every single thing that makes me feel good, and real, and at peace, and I am going to make a life out of all of those things.

Today, the top of the list is living with Alex. Living in the same space as her, and learning how to fit both of us in our tiny kitchen, and figuring out how to share one bathroom, feels... right. It feels good. And at the same time, it feels revolutionary. I never imagined, when I felt alone and afraid in middle school, that I would one day share an apartment with my partner, who I love. But we do. Alex and I living together is simple, and so completely normal, and it blows me away every single day.

We're here. We live in a studio where the fridge doesn't open all the way, and the electricity goes off if we use too many appliances at once, and we get to do whatever we want, and I love it. I am thankful for every single moment. Here's to more moments that any of us, and all of us, can be thankful for.

A mural on Ashby Flowers, a flower shop near our apartment.

Helios enjoying our new (big!) backyard.

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